Have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder? I think I have it. Well, not really, since it's considered an "obsession" with one's imagined flaws. I don't obsess over it, but I do think I view myself differently from how others do. For example:
I feel like this huge, clumsy, blob-thing. But then someone will say something about my appearance and to totally throws me off. Like the other day, one of my friends told me she always loves my natural makeup. I really try to go for the natural look, so that was a huge compliment for me. I constantly worry that I've got globs of makeup all over my face, like I'm doing it wrong.
Oh, the other day someone even said they like my ombre hair. I died. I don't purposely have ombre hair. I'm just attempting to grow out my highlights since I don't have the time or money to keep up with it. I guess I'll take what I can get.
Same thing goes for my size. I feel huge. Granted, not as huge as I used to be (see here). But lately I've gotten some compliments from people at work. It makes me feel GREAT, but every time someone says something nice I'm like, really? You see THAT? Huh.
It's so strange, like my eyes don't work or something.
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1 comment:
I think everyone has this issue. Some people think they are thinner than they really are, some people think they can still pull off itty bitty bikini's when they can't, and then others (like you and me) think they are bigger than they really are. It always shocks me when someone tells me I'm skinny or thin. To me, all I see is my belly, and love handles...oh and the fact that gravity is a grade A bitch! One day, I will look in the mirror and think "Hey, I'm looking pretty freaking fantastic!" my confidence will perk up and I'll feel really good, then the next day I'm thinking "UGHHHH....I look fat, my ass is actually pancaking and sliding down the backs of my cottage cheese thighs and I am so dull I don't ever want to leave the house again." So yeah...I think its pretty normal. I also think it goes along those lines that we are harder on ourselves than anyone else.
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