In the Mirror

Have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder?  I think I have it.  Well, not really, since it's considered an "obsession" with one's imagined flaws.  I don't obsess over it, but I do think I view myself differently from how others do.  For example:

I feel like this huge, clumsy, blob-thing.  But then someone will say something about my appearance and to totally throws me off.  Like the other day, one of my friends told me she always loves my natural makeup.  I really try to go for the natural look, so that was a huge compliment for me.  I constantly worry that I've got globs of makeup all over my face, like I'm doing it wrong.  

Oh, the other day someone even said they like my ombre hair.  I died.  I don't purposely have ombre hair.  I'm just attempting to grow out my highlights since I don't have the time or money to keep up with it.  I guess I'll take what I can get.

Same thing goes for my size.  I feel huge.  Granted, not as huge as I used to be (see here).  But lately I've gotten some compliments from people at work.  It makes me feel GREAT, but every time someone says something nice I'm like, really?  You see THAT?  Huh.  

It's so strange, like my eyes don't work or something.

Scattered Thoughts

I had a hair makeover this weekend. It was probably a month overdue for a trim, so I went in for that. Unfortunately the lady did the opposite that I asked for - I wanted my hair tapered around towards my face, but she angled it away instead - but I cannot complain. I get the $13 hair cut at whichever chain store is closest when I think of it.

I also dyed my hair. I do this from time to time to help hide the greys that started to take over my head when I was 25. They are actually a startling white, but calling them 'whites' just doesn't sound right. The brand I had been using before was fading too quickly for my preference, so I talked it over with a few of my friends and family who dye their hair regularly. Since I was buying a new brand, I didn't know exactly which shade to get. I ended up going a little darker than I had wanted. But! I guess it's getting into the colder months and a darker 'do couldn't hurt.

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I cut my finger this weekend on the tamper-evidence foil of sour cream. I didn't realize it until there was blood everywhere and Travis was questioning the blood in the sour cream. Oh. Guess I cut myself?

It's super annoying though because it's on the tip of the index finger on my right hand. I'm right-handed. Now, every time I write, or try to open a bottle or vial, or anything that puts pressure on the pad of my finger, the wound opens up and starts to bleed again. Gross. And annoying.

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New found morning struggle: Putting a jacket on Aiden. He HATES them. As Alexa puts it, you'd think it was burning his skin off. He literally throws himself on the ground immediately after getting the jacket on. I'm hoping he gets used to this soon. It may only be chilly in the mornings at this point, but that will change as the winter progresses!

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Travis forced me to buy some things for myself this weekend with some extra money he earned. He didn't have to force me into it, but I sure felt guilty afterwards. I don't know why, but ever since I had Aiden, it feels horrible to spend money on myself. One of my favorite items from all the shopping I did is the Mr. Coffee Electric Coffee Grinder.

Why did no one ever tell me what heavenly goodness comes from grinding your own bean?! I know that coffee usually tastes like it smells when it's in the bag, but the level of intensity that comes from freshly ground coffee beans is insane. I now fully understand why coffeehouse coffee always tastes so much better than what I make at home. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T COME FROM WEEKS OLD PREPACKAGED COFFEE GRINDS.

Seriously. Yum.

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Can't wait for tonight! We're going to meet Skylar!!