In the Mirror

Have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder?  I think I have it.  Well, not really, since it's considered an "obsession" with one's imagined flaws.  I don't obsess over it, but I do think I view myself differently from how others do.  For example:

I feel like this huge, clumsy, blob-thing.  But then someone will say something about my appearance and to totally throws me off.  Like the other day, one of my friends told me she always loves my natural makeup.  I really try to go for the natural look, so that was a huge compliment for me.  I constantly worry that I've got globs of makeup all over my face, like I'm doing it wrong.  

Oh, the other day someone even said they like my ombre hair.  I died.  I don't purposely have ombre hair.  I'm just attempting to grow out my highlights since I don't have the time or money to keep up with it.  I guess I'll take what I can get.

Same thing goes for my size.  I feel huge.  Granted, not as huge as I used to be (see here).  But lately I've gotten some compliments from people at work.  It makes me feel GREAT, but every time someone says something nice I'm like, really?  You see THAT?  Huh.  

It's so strange, like my eyes don't work or something.

Charity

The other day we were stopped at a stop sign when Aiden saw the car in front of us giving money to a man standing on the side of the road.  Aiden asked if we had to talk to the man too.  I explained he was asking people for money.  Aiden wanted to give him some, but I didn't have any cash.  He then offered to give the man money from his piggy bank.  I told him we didn't have time for that, so Aiden offered to bring it back at Christmas time.  

"Why at Christmas?" I asked.

"Because I want to."

It was so sweet I teared up.  I know money does not have the same value to him that it does to adults, but I was still impressed with his willingness to give away his belongings.  Maybe he's not turning out so bad after all.

Music Time

The other night at dinner, Aiden randomly announced, "Ms. K's* hair fell off today." 

Aiden's preschool teacher is African American so Travis and I quickly understood what had happened and couldn't help but laugh.  Once we calmed down, we asked how that happened.  He said, "She did this [he shakes his head and body really fast like a crazy dancer] and then it fell on the ground."

I JUST DIED.  Kids really do say the darndest things.



*Names have been changed to protect the individual.  ;)

Ups and Downs

Working out is tough.  I've never had an injury related to exercise, but I think I might have one.  I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but my ankles hurt.  I've had to stop doing some of the jumping moves.  Instead I do something similar without having to land hard on my ankles.  I need to go buy ankle wraps to see if that helps at all.  Travis doesn't do some of the jump moves either, but for a different reason.  It hurts his lower back.  He's thrown his back out twice, so he's trying to avoid that again.  

I have never been a scale watcher, but ever since I had Mila I've been unable to avoid it.  I lost a pound per week the first two weeks doing Insanity.  But this last week I gained 3 lbs!  I don't know if it's fat converting to muscle, or if I ate too much due to Valentine's Day.  I really hope its the muscle thing.  I feel like my pants are a little looser, but I can't help but feel some disappointment.

I have a work trip next week, which means I'll have to take a week off of exercising PLUS I'll be eating all the horrible food they'll be feeding us.  I'd like to say I will find time to get in some cardio, but I've never been good about that.  The only reason I'm sticking with it at home is because Travis does it with me.  The best I can do is avoid all the sweets (my weakness). 

On the upside, we had our second fit test last week and I saw HUGE improvement.  I kept meaning to post my numbers (because I know you all care so much), but it always slips my mind.  I know the workouts are easier because I can make it through an entire round without having to stop like I used to.  Now the thing that holds me back is muscle weakness by the end.  I can only do so many push-ups and planks before my arms turn to Jello mush.  Overall I feel good about it.  I just need to remember the positives!!

Sweet Peas

Last night I made peas with dinner.  Travis doesn't like many vegetables, so he didn't put any on his plate.  I know Aiden doesn't like peas, so I didn't give him very many.  I never make him finish every last bite of food on his plate, but I do have a rule that he try everything.  You never know when your tastes will change!  So when Aiden asked if he could get some yogurt (his dessert), I told him he had to eat a bite of peas.  He popped one in his mouth and swallowed it whole.  He's learning how to swallow without chewing already.  Cracks me up every time.  Travis asked Aiden if he could have some, so he took a bite and chewed it.  

Aiden said, "Ewwwww.  Don't chew it.  Just put it in your mouth and do this." He then mimed swallowing it whole.

Travis asked, "Why?"

"Because, if you bite it, this comes off," he pulls off the outer shell, "and then it goes pfth," and he makes a wet sound denoting the innards of a pea coming out.

We DIED.  I love it when we get a little insight into the inner workings of Aiden.

Time Passes

When I think back to my childhood, I felt like it took forever.  I felt like I was a child for so long I couldn't stand it.  I longed for the day when I could run my own life.  Now that I have it, I enjoy and would never want to go back to my childhood.  Not that my childhood was bad, by any means.  I have many fond memories of my family and friends.  I just hated the rules.  When I was younger:  Having to be in bed by 8.  Having to be home by a dark.  Not allowed to have a Nintendo.  Not being able to go from one friend's house to another without asking my parents first.  Not being allowed to wear makeup.  When I reached high school:  Not being allowed to go on dates.  Having to be home by 10, and later midnight.  All are typical childhood limitations.  

I see so much of myself in Aiden.  Stubbornly independent.  I know he cannot stand the limitations and rules we have about watching TV, playing LeapPad, getting dressed and going to bed.  I just hope he can see the fun in things and not focus on all the limitations.  Childhood takes a long time when you're in the midst of it.  

The older I get, the faster time seems to travel.  College was fun, but it was over before I realized what I was living.  Travis and I spent a couple more pre-parental years running amok, but that was soon over as well.  Next came the marriage, house and kids.  Aiden is already 3 years old and our second child is Army crawling all over the house with her mouthful of 5 teeth.  

TIME FLIES.  It really does.  This video puts it into artistic perspective:

 

THE EAGLEMAN STAG from Mikey Please on Vimeo.

It's getting easier

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Travis and I are still doing the Insanity workout.  The way it's laid out, you have hard cardio for 4 days, then a day called "cardio recovery" that's actually hardcore yoga.  Then there's two more days of hard cardio before you get a day break.  Three times during this schedule we have had to postpone by a day.  We aren't skipping it, just postponing.  That means tonight is our second fit test (we do this every two weeks).  The first was our first day.  I'm actually really looking forward to seeing how much of a difference there is.  

I've only lost 2 lbs since we started, but I will take it!  It's the lowest I've been since I had Mila, so it makes me feel good.  Despite constantly being sore I can really tell a difference in my fitness.  The other day I went out to our veggie garden to pull weeds and dead plants in prep for the new crop.  After I finished, I was stepping out and realized squatting had been terribly easy.  I didn't struggle with it at all.  That's a huge improvement for me considering I spend a lot of time on the floor with my kids. 

I'm also starting to enjoy the work outs.  They're still hard, but I find myself cursing at the TV less and having the energy and happiness to give Travis a high five or talk about the work out afterward.  It makes me want to stick with it.  I feel better about myself enough that I want to keep going.  I'm going to be forthcoming here and say that I know my body will never be exactly what I want without plastic surgery.  Having babies has ruined my mid-section.  But if I could get things leaned out a bit I'm sure it would make me feel more confident.

This is the first time in my life I have enjoyed exercise.  I take that back.  I used to go jogging with a friend my senior year of high school.  About a month into it I really enjoyed my runs.  But then it started snowing and we quit.  Story of my exercise-life!

LOVE

A CGI Disney short that was made to look like the old school hand drawn movies I grew up with: