Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Restroom Adventures

I have learned to dread bathrooms as of late.  Between being pregnant and going through potty training with Aiden, it's been a real ordeal. 

Bathroom obstacle #1: Air freshner.  My sense of smell is insanely sensitive.  Whatever that crap is that they spray in public restrooms is HORRID.  I walk into the bathroom at work, or Target, or the zoo, or whatever restaurant and instantly gag.  Have you seen those gel air freshners before?  They look like a yogurt container with the foil top peeled back, but they're filled with brightly colored goo instead.  I want to take them all and throw 'em out the window. 

Bathroom obstacle #2.0: Automatic flushing toilets.  I know this is getting personal (it's been known to happen on this blog before), but now that I have a big belly, wiping has gotten a little awkward.  I generally have to lean to the right a bit to get business taken care of, which sets off the toilet to flush.  While I'm still sitting on it.  GROSS.  Happens every time though and every toilet in my work building has these automatic toilets.

Bathroom obstacle #2.1: Automatic flushing toilets and Aiden.  Aiden is just learning to use normal size toilets.  First, I'd like you to picture a but half the size of yours.  Maybe smaller.  Then imagine that on an adult toilet.  It doesn't take much for him to fall in.  To help him out, I try to hold him up by the arm pits while he focuses on keeping his pee in the toilet.  We haven't quite graduated to peeing standing up yet.  Not sure how we would do that at an adult-sized toilet anyway.  Anyhoo, when I'm done holding him up, I take a step back to ask him if he's done.  When I remove my presence from holding him up, that sets off the automatic flush.  Scares Aiden a little.  I try to blow it off to show him it's no big deal.  Again, picture a giant tiled bathroom filled with echoing sounds of other people peeing, flushing, washing their hands and using the hand dryer.  It's a little scary, I'm sure.  Getting him to use a public restroom is worse than getting teeth pulled.

I used to love automatic toilets.  Not so much at the moment.  It used to be nice that I could avoid touching the toilet handle.  Harumph.

I think what's making these bathroom ordeals so much worse is how frequently I'm in there.  I pee, minimum, every two hours.  I usually get up one to three times throughout the night, depending on when I go to bed and how hard and long I'm sleeping.  Add to that Aiden's need to use the restroom and I'm starting to think I should look into buying stock in bathroom fixtures.  It helps that my dad and Travis are around when we're at a lot of these public places to take turns with me lately. 

Just one of the things I won't miss about pregnancy...

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