Nature is trying to get me

First and foremost, FREE online today at noon: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Read it. Love it. Live it.

JK. But I am excited! I wonder how long it will be? For those of you unaware, it is the fourth installment in the Twilight Saga. It tells the story of the vampire wars in Eclipse from a vampires' view who is in the newborn army. Hurry to read this while you can. It will only be available for free through July 5th! The movie is set to open in theaters June 30th and Meyers is recommending that you read this book before seeing Eclipse.

Second, the story that goes with the title... I have never considered myself a jumpy, girly person when it comes to the outdoors and everything that lives in it. Let me rescind by saying that I have ALWAYS had an issue with erratically flying insects (IE, June bugs, Japanese beetles, palmetto bugs, etc). The thought of them getting stuck in my hair freaks me out to no end.

I fear that this is changing as I age. Perhaps it is because I spend less and less time digging in the dirt as I grow, or maybe something is changing in my brain. No telling. Here are a number of instances that have all happened in the last two weeks that involve outdoor critters and me getting the jitters:

• Every night for about a week now, we have between one and three spiders that build a web on our back porch. These webs are so large, that I am unable to go out the back door (or let Callaway out in the back yard) without becoming covered in web, dead bugs and 1-3 live bugs. We have been leaving them up, since they appear to be catching lots of mosquitoes. I always check the back porch when I get up at 5:15 and they are there. Come 6:20, when it's time for Travis to leave, the webs and its' residences are gone.
• I had left a shovel and bag on the floor of my garage when I was in a hurry one day, so when I went back to pick it up several days later I practically threw everything in my hands when a flopping thing fell out of it. I thought it was an earthworm at first, but once it righted itself, I realized it had legs. It was a lizard. Eesh.
• Then there was that lizard on the lawn chair that was in my face, but I didn't realize until I disturbed him by moving the chair to a new location.
• This past weekend, I opened the front door to water the plants on the porch only to have two birds (doing a mating dance?) attempt to fly in the house. I screamed and quickly slammed the door shut. My scream mostly scared them away, but I waited about 10 minutes before I tried to water the plants again.
• This morning! I was walking out to the garage with Aiden and all our bags in tow, when a giant cockroach falls out of the tree and lands on the sidewalk in front of me. He laid on his back, legs slowly peddling (like so). He was on his way out of this world, but still gave me full-on heebie-jeebies.

I don't discriminate. Bugs, lizards and birds alike. All have been trying to get me lately.

Ugh, my skin is crawling AGAIN.