Still a Little Grey

I had a VERY strange dream the other night. I dreamt that Travis and I got pregnant. We didn't want to get pregnant until July, so we decided to get an abortion (which is ridiculous because there is no way I would get an abortion because the pregnancy was six months earlier than planned). I went in for the procedure alone. Thankfully I didn't actually dream about the procedure itself. (Yikes!)

When it was over, I started to walk home. I needed to stop at the grocery store for something, so I walked under the overpass to a little convenience shop. It was a little one-story, stand-alone building in the middle of a strip mall parking lot. I walked inside, but it didn't look like a store. It looked more like a conference room with grey carpet, grey chairs, a big, wooden, oval table and a projector screen on the back wall.

I was confused for a moment, but then saw a sign that read "Enter Here" and it pointed to the elevator. As I was getting on the elevator, I had a thought that this was a one story building. Why would it have an elevator? It started to shoot upwards, but then the door opened and showed the original room I had started in. The entire room was going up.

Then a man in a grey suit with a grey tie and brown hair stepped out of a door across the room from me. He was coming out of a bathroom, drying his hands with a towel like he had just finished washing them. He walks towards me and says, "You were going to have twins. But don't worry, the abortion didn't take fully and you are still going to have Sam. She's coming soon. Don't worry."

Uh, what?! That was by far, the creepiest dream I have ever had. I've had scary dreams, I've had sad dreams, but that one was just plain creepy.

I've been thinking about that dream since then. First off, if I ever have a girl, we're not naming her Sam. No offense to all the Sams out there. That one is just not for me. Second, what the deuce?! The whole thing is just weird. When I think back on it, the guy was slightly reminiscent of the Geico commercial guy, but that's not what I was thinking during the dream. During the dream, I was horrified that I was going to have twins but I lost my chance. ??????

I think I'm getting the baby bug again. It might be because I still watch 16 and Pregnant occasionally. It might be because the newest Ramby baby is turning into an irresistible little chubster. It might be because my friend Linsey has a swollen belly of her own, due in April. It might be because my other friend, due in March, is about to have her baby shower. I LOVE baby showers. I'm just not sure. Alexa told me that something clicked in her when her firstborn turned 18-months old. She suddenly wanted another baby.

Originally, Travis and I had planned to start trying for another baby when Aiden turned one. When that was only a few months away, I freaked and had a talk with Travis. Neither one of us was ready for another baby just yet. I was just getting my body back to normal after finishing breastfeeding and I really couldn't imagine taking any of our time away from Aiden at that point. I still wanted to spend all my time with him and it seemed wrong to take any of that away from him.

We decided to wait until the following year to see how we felt then. Well, it's the following year and Aiden just turned 18 months old. I feel the bug coming on. I'm not quite ready, but I am happy to see it's happening. I was worried that because I didn't want a baby when Aiden was one that I would never want a baby again. But now I can see it. It's a possibility that appeals to me. I still worry a bit about taking time away from Aiden, but in the same token, I would be giving something to him. A play pal for life!