Ugh! I had another bad dream last night about being a mother. I think I have a dream similar to this at least once a week! Travis and I have been talking more seriously lately about starting a family of our own. There are still several obstacles in our way, so no word on an actual date for this to begin. I think all this "serious talk" has gotten me fired up on the subject. I purchased a book on Amazon last week that I've been wanting to get since it came out. It was put together by my favorite blogger, Dooce, but now I'm wondering if it wasn't another subconscious grab in the dark for something closer to parenthood. The book is titled Things I Learned About My Dad: Humorous and Heartfelt Essays.
I started reading the book last night and found it HILARIOUS. There are some serious essays, but for the most part I was laughing out loud. Whenever that was the case, I wanted to run and share it with Travis. While we don't have children of our own, we do have a million friends with kids. Not to mention that we each were kids ourselves at one point. With fathers. So we can relate. I definitely recommend this book if you like to read. Unfortunately, Travis does not like to read and he eventually got irritated with me because I kept sharing excerpts with him. I was saddened that he was not more interested in this stuff, but he really has never been much of a reader. I started to get a little stressed about us getting pregnant because I know he won't be the one to run and look up information when needed. Possibly due to the way things left off when we went to bed, I had a horrible dream. Nightmare, if you will.
I dreamt I was pregnant and on vacation with a faceless friend. We were sitting in the hotel room when I started to go into labor. Being as it is a dream, we decided to stay in the room to have the baby. An hour after Baby popped out, my friend suggested we go down by the pool to get drinks. I agreed, wrapped Baby girl in a blanket and headed downstairs. Once at the pool, I quickly forgot about the baby, got in the water and sipped on a tropical drink. When it was time to leave and we were walking away, I remembered that I had a baby and had left her underneath my chaise lounge chair. When I ran over to get her, she was cold and had turned into a doll (similar to this one, minus the clothes). Hoping to revive her, I held her close to warm her up and she turned back into a live baby. This went on throughout most of the dream - going some place and forgetting I had a baby. After about three times of absentmindedness, I realized that I had not fed her at all. I told my friend that I needed to find a place to feed her, when all of sudden she turns into my friend Shannon and tells me that I had missed my window of breastfeeding within a few hours of birth! Now I wasn't going to properly bond with my child! Ahhhhh! I spent the rest of the dream trying to find a private place to feed her.
I woke up exhausted.