At a gas station somewhere in Mississippi...

This story is too mortifying not to share. If you are faint of heart when it comes to bodily functions, you're going to want to go ahead and SKIP THIS POST.

One of the "side effects" of pregnancy can be constipation. Up until two weeks ago, I thought I had been lucky enough to fore go this issue. But after making the trip to Illinois and all proper eating habits went out the window, things took a turn for the worse. I have been able to do nothing but produce a couple rabbit turds (as Travis calls them) every other day. I think it is mostly due to the fact that I have been eating tons of junk instead of the regular fruits, vegetables and granola that I like to get in on a daily basis.

Anyways, it figures that during the 18-hour drive back to Texas my bowels would suddenly decide they know how to work again. Travis was driving and I knew an emergency stop was necessary, so he pulled off at the first gas station we came upon. I was thankful to see it was a decent gas station that I would be spending several minutes in. There is no way I could have hovered over a nasty toilet to take care of this deed.

I run into the bathroom, and sure enough, there are only two stalls, with two women in line ahead of me. I impatiently wait my turn and go in for the kill when grandma finally makes her exit out of stall numero dos. This was an emergency situation, so I had no other choice but to do the deed immediately. I have never had to take a crap, let alone have free flowing bowels, in a room with SO MANY PEOPLE.

I swear to you, two Mormon families stopped at the gas station at the same time as us. There was suddenly a line of ten women and girls overflowing out the door, waiting for their turn in the bathroom. And to top it all off, the stalls were the flimsy metal kind with a three-inch gap around the entire door so that every person standing in line could wave and easily have a conversation with me as they awaited their turn.

My only saving grace was that because of the numerous people going in and out in the handicap stall next to me, there was almost constantly a toilet being flushed or a hand air dryer blowing. I had to keep reminding myself that I would NEVER SEE any of these people again.

I still to this moment do not know what turned on the Nikki Faucet. Don't ask me why, but I'm thinking it was the apple slices from Subway. It seemed like my body saw fresh fruit and just flipped out.

So now I'm sitting at my computer, looking at my Afro silhouetted in my computer screen. I must be back in Texas.